I feel like de/construction surrounds me...

There's a steamroller in the parking lot of my apartment complex. The coffee shop is roasting with a general shaking and tumble of din. Even Halfway House across the street blasted engine noise throughout the neighborhood with their gas lawn mower from some by-gone era. Is it my ears that are sensitive today or something deeper inside me?

Hippie Zombie Jesus riding a surfboard with a rose in his mouth...

yeah, that's what's on my shirt. Along with Gomez from the Addams' family post-fame holding torches outright while he bellows out a visceral howl, cruising along on their tandem surf board, light blue ripples of water below them.

Dang notha double...

Increase shows the growth of fullness without artifices... Increase meaning another double. I thought I had finished the overworking. Thought it would give me a chance to clean up my mind and body, get the spirit back in line. Now I realize that I have to work at that too. Double today, no double tomorrow - but still work.

A small lake over an abyss...

Is it ennui this morning? I'm not so sure. My mind won't allow sleep but it also won't allow a happiness. Similar actually to the day outside, with its moments of mild sunshine that slip back into gray moments after they've arrived.
No matter.

For Jobs No Money....

Small keys to everyday existence like a fat nickel or thin dime
Hide quarters in exchange for peace and strife of mind
Peace this peace that
Every time someone wants a piece I have to grab my piece
3000 Andres and not a drop to drink
Between here and reality you fill the blank
Is it your hands or others that hand you your thanks
Be to all mind matters that matter - mine
I and I with eyes of planets in pairs and duos
hearts with near eclipses and collisions
Monica

To apologize...

I'm clinging, clinging as in a fish in a net, or an animal trapped in a hole, to the gnarled roots and strings that bind me. Fire burns brightest when it first flares up. I apologize and in doing so admitted guilt. The second fire blew into my face. Work is less about my profession and more about my ego.

Success In Encounters...

Hexagram 47 - K'un - Exhaustion/Oppression

The love of my life has spurned me once again. Of an age where I no longer can joke about my intentions, I realize that I can't fight it, and I respond with a white flag that hopefully wasn't too negative. I thought of defiance - in multiple ways. No, fuck no, I'm not going to let you go. Then, Oh, why? It hurts so much! But no, the classic, because I love her I have to let her go scenario. Lame how cliche life is.