Hard to keep the fire lit...

....Inside my brain I have this constant problem with sadness and self-deprecation. ...To keep the fire within lit, to keep creativity and desire a driving force I'm going to try again with this foolish blog, boring even myself in the process. ...But the feel of the keys moving forward have their own kind of salvation, a movement towards acting, something I've done little of for months now. I've forgotten how actually to spell many words, even their uses allude more than before. As with the softness of my bulbous stomach, I'm disintegrating into apathy of mind, body and spirit. ...to keep the fire lit... anything